Eric Brindle - Becoming Me (final draft)

Becoming Me

The very first memory I have a child is crawling on the Detroit Tigers old baseball stadium. I guess you could say from the start I was destined to play sports, and that I did. As soon as I could I begged and begged my parents to let me join a sports team…at least soccer! Well, they finally did and without even knowing it, we were shaping who I was going to become and identify with as a person for the rest of my life.

If you would ask anyone that knew me growing up as a child, I guarantee they would describe as one thing: competitive. I was never going to let anyone beat me at anything, especially sports. My father was a very blue-collared hard working type of man that always pushed me to be the best I could be – sometimes even probably further than he should. He definitely pounded in the fact that hard work will make a man successful. He instilled a fire in me though, a fire to be the best. Like I said before I started playing the only sport that was even offered for children my age which was soccer. I was immediately the best. Not to mention I was one of the bigger, faster, and stronger kids for my age. It was more than that for me though. Even though I loved competing and winning, sports also gave me a way to meet new friends who had the same interests as me. I have always been very quiet, not that I am awkward shy, but I just don’t really like to talk that much and I think some people take that as arrogance. Being a part of a team let me show who I really was, and people got to know me through games, practices, or post-event parties. From soccer it went to playing golf; from golf it went to football; from football it went to baseball, and from basketball it went to baseball. I wanted to join every team I possibly could. Being a part of these team made me feel home. I made so many so many friends just for being a part of the team. Every team I belonged to, I immediately had about thirty friends I could turn to help or for fun outside of practice and games. Playing sports shaped me. It determined the clothes I wore, the friends I hung out with, and the people influence my life on a daily basis. 

Best friend from soccer 5 yrs. old

5 yr.s old soccer

I entered high school with only one thing in mind: getting a college scholarship. Of course, sports were my main focus once again. I decided to concentrate on solely on football, basketball, and baseball. Since baseball was my favorite, I was aiming to go to college on a college scholarship. “Athletic identity is the degree to which an individual identifies with the athlete role and looks to others for acknowledgement of that role” (believeperform.com). Athletics was definitely my identity and that is definitely how people perceived me. My senior class voted me “most athletic” in the end of the yearbook. It was almost like my calling, and playing sports was what I was supposed to do. I started playing varsity sports as a freshman at a very big high school, so my name and picture was always all over the local newspaper. I was almost a celebrity at my own high school. With all this attention started shaping my own identity. I was white, tall, muscular (because of sports), and for the most part I got a lot of pretty girls. Not only did sports give me an avenue for activity, but every one of my friends that I hung out with outside of class or practice was a teammate. I guess you could say my ego was a bit over-inflated. This was just my life. Sports were everything. If I was good at sports, then everything would fall into place. I could go to college, and hopefully one day make a lot of money.

Moving on to college was really not much different. I earned a scholarship to play division one baseball in North Carolina. Although I was nervous about going to school where I knew not one single person, but I did know there was automatically going to 40 teammates I was joining that would automatically become close friends. Being an athlete and part of a team is very comforting. No matter what team you are going or where you are traveling, your team will always be friends and have your back. There is really no other option but to become friends with your teammates. When I moved to North Carolina, I did not know one single person. When I first arrived to my dorm room on day one I noticed my room was covered in baseball decorations and was much bigger than the other non-athlete rooms. There must of been 5 or 6 decorated just like my room. My nervousness didn’t last long as our first team meeting was assembled shortly after I arrived and I realized I had immediately made 40 new friends on our team. Not only did I make the friends on my team, but every athlete playing all different were required to congregate once a month. Being an athlete is not just playing games. It’s a culture, a lifestyle, and for me, it held me together. Sports introduced me to friends, activities I enjoy and most importantly kept me out of trouble. Without sports or baseball I had no idea who I really was.

That would shortly change after three successful years playing baseball in North Carolina. I had suffered through a few surgeries in my first couple years, but nothing major that I couldn’t come back and play again. In my first week of my Junior season I ended breaking my elbow in a game vs. Duke University and I knew right then and there my playing career was going to be over. Well, I was right and I never ended up playing another game in college again. Of course I had season ending surgery, and my optimism of playing again was diminishing by the second. I tried weeks, months and even years of physical therapy to get my elbow back in shape but it was just was not happening. Would I have to quit baseball? What do I do now?

College Baseball

College Baseball Friends

I returned home to Columbus, Ohio embarrassed and ashamed that my superstar career didn’t work out. It is quite difficult giving up on your sports dreams and returning. This link will provide much information on life for athletes after their career has ended.  "Questions and confusions filled my head daily. The surgery ended my baseball career, so there was no real reason to stick around in North Carolina if I wasn’t playing sports so I moved home. I faced weeks and months of depression. I asked myself millions of questions about things I could of differently? What would I do now? What do I want to do now? Really, who am I? I didn’t really know anything about me besides sports. Ever since I can remember my whole life has been playing sports and going to school. Now that was gone. I was 23 and hadn’t finished college yet, nor did I have any idea what I wanted out of life or wanted to do. Fortunately, I had some old friends that needed a roommate down at Ohio University. After months of sitting at my parent’s house, I jumped at the opportunity to get out of the house and finish my education. I was also scared to death. This would be the first time in my life I have gone somewhere without any friends or belonging to a particular sports team.

At first, my experience at OU was a little rough. In past situations and places I didn’t have to stick out or put myself out there because I was so visible through sports team. Ohio University was much different. If I wanted to make friends, that is exactly what I had to do: make them! I couldn’t be the silent guy standing in the back with a baseball t-shirt that people know who I am just because of my clothes. I had to learn to speak up. I have learned that not all the friends I am going to make are going to be a part of my “sports” teams. Everyone will be different, and just because we are not on the same sports teams doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. There are great people everywhere! Going to school at Ohio University has taught me many things, but the most important I feel is just to be yourself and live in the moment.

It was a very huge learning experience coming to OU. Thinking about it: everything in my life had changed: where I lived, the way I dressed, the way I talked, my friends, sports, schools. You know name it, and it changed after my athletic life. I wouldn’t change my life in athletics for a single thing. I think I learned many valuable lessons by playing sports like working hard, honesty and loyalty. Playing sports while I was young, in middle school, high school and college really shaped my identity and who I was as a person. Now I needed to be open to all people and open myself up as well. As of now I am enjoying living my life sport-free and meeting new people every day, but I don’t want to downplay the significance of being involved in a group. Becoming involved in a group can be very helpful for some people just like it helped me in sports teams. Personally, I think it was beneficial to quit the athletic experience and open myself up to meeting new people. I've learned to just be myself, and even though I am not belonging to a sports team, my identity will be evolving as long as I live. Overall, finding your true identity can be a tough and depressing experience for many people, but having an open mind and the willingness to open up to new people, anyone will be just fine.

Friends at OU

Citations:

1. "BelievePerform." BelievePerform. Web. 29 Apr. 2015. <http://believeperform.com/performance/athletic-identity/>.

2.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS7E3lJZMlA

3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5HOuCsCq3Q ***MOST INFO

Final Draft- Boxing Dreams

Boxing Dream

The topic I have chosen to write about is my experience as a female in boxing.  The experiences and struggles that I faced during my time as a female boxer has shaped who I am today. I started boxing when I had just turned 16 years old. I was in high school living the same every day typical life.  The reason I chose to start was because I wanted do something different and jump out of my comfort zone. I had always been a shy, passive, laid back kind of girl. No one ever saw me as “tough” or someone who would be able to defend themselves.  This was all true but I never liked to admit it. I was also the girl who got straight A’s/ B’ in school. It was very important to me that school always came first. My parents were strict so they were always on my case about how I was doing in school. I never went out and had fun like most kids my age did. A part of this reason was because my parents were so strict with me and never let me do anything.  It was hard having such strict parents and this led to other problems such as getting bullied.

Growing up was hard for me and I was always trying to be something I wasn’t. Every year in high school my self confidence would get worse. I would always pick something out about myself that I didn’t like or I thought wasn’t good enough. There were so many stereotypes in my school and if you weren’t labeled popular you were pretty much doomed. I wanted so much to make something of myself and to be seen by others. I just didn’t know what to do with my life or what would be best fitting for me.

After awhile of pondering and trying different things at my school and finding everything to be boring it finally hit me that I should try boxing. I didn’t know too much about the sport of boxing. I only knew that boxers were portrayed as tough, fearless, and hard working people. I also knew that boxers were highly respected and that you were to never mess with someone in that sport. To gain some insight on the sport and get to know more about it I did some research. I looked up famous female boxers and read about them, I watched videos of some awesome fights, and I read some articles that really caught my eye. It amazed me the amount of accomplishments and how much recognition female boxers got. This was a truly intense sport but it made me want to try it even more.  

My decision to start boxing was defiantly a surprise to many people. People doubted me and told me that I would never last in the sport. Some of my family members even tried to talk me out of it telling me that I was crazy for even considering something so outrageous and dangerous. My parents were the most shocked about it and I had to do a lot of persuading to get their permission to start. All the negative feedback and comments that people told me only gave me more motivation and eagerness to prove them all wrong. This was something that I had set in my mind and was ready to do. I was ready to show people and most importantly myself that I was ready to leave my comfort zone and become a new person.  

I’m not going to lie, I was nervous about starting boxing. I knew this was going to be a challenge for me. It was going to take a lot of hard work and dedication in my life. I was already pretty busy with working at McDonalds and being a member in the band and cross country team.  I knew that I was going to have to make a lot of sacrifices in my life. I first quit my job at McDonalds which sucked because the money I was making there really helped me out a lot. I had to do it though so I could make time for boxing. I also quit the cross country team which was a surprise to many people because I had been running for years. This was by far the biggest sacrifice I had to make and it was extremely hard for me to do. I contemplated on my decision for quite a long time before I finally had made the decision to quit. Some other things I had to give up were time with my family and friends. I’m very close with my friends and typically spent the majority of my free time with them. They were upset when I couldn’t give them much of my time anymore and I knew that things were not going to be the same between us.

The first day I started boxing I was completely nervous and started rethinking my decision. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into and I was worried that I was not going to be good enough. When I walked in on my first day I saw a gym full of boys and this made me feel very out of my element. They all seemed intimidating and all had serious looks on their faces. I tried to pull myself together and make myself look confident. The first practice was defiantly the hardest. It was a two hour long practice with little breaks in between. I was having a hard time keeping up with everyone and this discouraged me. I wasn’t used to being the slacker because I had always been pretty good at sports. This was however an entirely different sport and it took a lot of more energy.

The first couple of weeks starting out in boxing were intense. The practices were two hours long with little to no breaks in between. I had never worked so hard in my life and my body was the most sore it had ever been.  Not only were the practices long but it was almost every day of the week. I knew I was giving up a lot of my time but I never realized how hard it would be to dedicate myself for that long. Being the only girl in the gym was hard starting out. I was told that most girls who started out didn’t make it long and often gave up within weeks. I didn’t want to be that girl that gave up and I wanted to prove to them that I was there for the long run. I didn’t get much respect from the team starting out because they saw me as just a weak girl that was in there to just hook up with boys. The coaches didn’t give me much attention the first couple of weeks and it felt like I was invisible. It was hard being stereotyped by everyone but it gave me more motivation to prove them wrong.

            As weeks progressed and time went by things started to get easier. I started to get more respect from the team and the coaches. They noticed me and started to help me out more. I also was able to endure the practices more and I was becoming stronger. I started to feel a sense of belonging and it felt right being there. My family and friends started to be more encouraging towards me and gave me more support. My mother surprisingly came to my first day of sparring which was a big deal to me. Things were really turning around and I even started to fight not long after.

            I feel like boxing has defiantly changed my life and has made me the person who I am today. Although starting out was rough for me and I didn’t get much support from anyone it was all worth it. I am a lot stronger and aggressive. I’m not that shy, scared girl, who I was back in high school that always got walked all over. I can actually stand up for myself today and do things for myself. I feel a lot better about myself and I’m more comfortable in my own skin. People see me as a different person and have more respect for me. My family and friends give me more support and it feels good getting that encouragement from them. Making the decision to start boxing was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I never knew that one sport could change my life so much.  I may not get to box as much as I would like to right now with being in college and having a lot of work but I hope to one day be a boxing coach and help girls like me.

 

I did a short interview with some of my family members that included my mother, my brother, and my grandmother. I first asked them, what was your reaction to me wanting to start boxing? My mother, Tammy Sprouse stated that she was unhappy about me wanting to start boxing and she had negative feelings about the whole thing.  She said that she thought I was crazy at this point and was in disbelief.  My grandmother, Connie Shaffer agreed with my mother about being upset and didn’t want me to go through with this. She said she was scared for me and didn’t want me to get hurt.  My brother, Troy Harmer on the other hand was all for me about doing boxing.  He stated that he was excited and that he wanted me to beat some girls up in the ring. The next question I asked them was how did you honestly think I would do in boxing? My mother, Tammy Sprouse said that she didn’t think I would last long because I wasn’t the type of girl who would even fight.  She said she saw me as a passive, shy, nice girl who would never lay a finger on anyone. She went on to say that she thought I wouldn’t even last a week in there and that I would be home crying to her about the whole experience and how I hated it. My grandmother, Connie Shaffer stated that although she was unhappy with my decision to start boxing she knew I was a dedicated girl and thought I would do okay if I tried my best in it. She also said that she disagreed with what my mom said about me not lasting long and said that she thought I would last as long as I truly wanted. My brother, Troy Harmer was nothing but positive once again with his answer and said that he thought I would make it for a long time and said he saw me doing great things in boxing. He said he believed in me and only wanted what was best for me in the sport. The third question I asked them was how do you view me now in boxing? My mother, Tammy Sprouse stated that although she was unhappy and didn’t want me to start boxing in the first place she was proud of how far that I have come. She told me that she was surprised that I have lasted for four years but now says that if I lasted this long I can do this for more years to come.  My grandmother, Connie Shaffer stated that she now viewed me as a totally different person. She said she saw me as a lot stronger and more outgoing than what I used to be. Finally, my brother, Troy Harmer  said he was beyond happy with the person I’ve become and says he sees happiness in me he never saw before.  

The purpose of this interview was to show you different views and opinions on how my family felt about me being a boxer. As you can see my mother was the most controversial about me wanting to get into boxing. My grandmother was unhappy with my decision to start boxing but she was supportive unlike my mother was. Finally, my brother was all in for me doing boxing and was supportive through the whole experience.

Work Cited

Harmer, Troy. Personal interview. 17 April 2014.

Shaffer, Connie. Personal interview. 17 April 2014.

Sprouse, Tammy. Personal interview. 17 April 2014.