Tom Michalk: Constructing My Identity (Final)

Tom Michalk

ENG 3060J

Constructing my Identity: How a white man does it

            Masculinity is described as the traditional qualities and traits of the average man. Here in the United States, being a white male is perceived as being an advantage over other races and genders. I agree that it has definitely left me with certain advantages, but there are also disadvantages that many people overlook. I believe that being a minority in some cases in the USA is a positive thing, and you are given certain advantages white people are not. I plan to discuss the advantages of disadvantages of being white, being a male, and how that has been perceived throughout all the experiences within my personal life living across different areas of the US.

The US Census Bureau has predicted previously that whites will lose their minority status by as soon as 2043, which means minority populations are growing rapidly within America. I personally don’t believe being a minority is a bad thing, I view it as an advantage that you are different. I believe that being white has given me certain advantages, but it has also left out of opportunities like minority scholarships for school. I also feel like companies are searching for minorities to make their companies appear more diverse, so when looking for jobs, I almost feel uncomfortable disclosing my race.

Race has developed a lot throughout the years and people still think that certain locations and certain groups of people are always racist. Growing up in Ohio and in a small, predominantly Italian community, it was easy to fall into the racist norms not having and African American students to relate too. As I slowly got older, I began to meet more and more African Americans and start to see that there wasn’t much difference between me and them besides skin color. This is also around the same time kids started inviting the opposite sex to their birthday party. We, as a society socialize things like race and gender differences to be norms, when in fact they shouldn’t be. Why should it matter who you are friends with, black or white, female or male. This brings me to personal story from a couple years ago. I was sitting at the “adult” table at my family gathering, and my aunt was telling a story about her younger son. She was explaining the details of the party, and where it was and how fun it was for the kids, and then she had to make a point to explain, “and then a little black boy showed up, his name was Brad, so I didn’t think he was black, and I didn’t know how to handle it”. I was shocked that my Aunt who is supposed to be older and so much more mature had acknowledged these race differences, especially because I had just started to recognize there wasn’t any difference since I had experienced so much of the world. Joane Nagel said in her book, “globalization and the persistence of the black – white color line in the U.S. In each of these cases, the power, position and origin of the blended races or ethnicities are distinct in the hybrid cultural productions, yet, at the same time, some challenge and subversion of dominant positions takes place, be they western messages of femininity and beauty, challenges to the black-white color line by intermarriage, or romance. The binary distinction is still there, but in the blending and at the same time subverted.” This shows that even though we have that color line here in the US, and the clear advantage of being a White male. One this is a Western belief, and two it is made less clear through things like gender disparity and age.

Growing up and living across different parts of Ohio throughout my life really gives you a different perspective on people. Being from Cleveland in a predominantly white, Italian community, you don’t see much diversity. So being a male or a female is just normal, as long as you are white. I didn’t really see much gender disparity until later in life, and that’s a good thing. Race was always something brought up growing up though, by classmates or relatives. They always made another race seem so different, when in reality it is just a skin color. It’s crazy to me how adults instill these ideas in kids head about race before they make their own judgment on people. I saw this fire hand when I moved to Camden, South Carolina to attend boarding school my sophomore year of college, and when I got into the Deep South it was almost a culture shock. We are talking about South Carolina, a state that still fly’s the Rebel flag over the state house, and is damn proud of it. I recall one time being at a restaurant and the owner was blatantly ignoring our table because I was with a black friend. They didn’t refuse us service, but we were getting stared at and treated like we weren’t equal customers. In this situation, living somewhere where race is still an issue, being a white male is an amazing advantage. It’s like a cult down South, and all the white people have all the advantages. I believe this source really shows why color shouldn't be an issue like in my past experiences."I take it that there is no credible evidence suggesting that newborns of black parents know or even believe they are black. But is not the newborn daughter of a black couple black, regardless of the fact that the newborn has no discernible idea of her blackness? Of course she is black, being born to black parents. Thus, black self-recognition is not a necessary condition of blackness" ( Corlett, 7). Below is a picture of me while I was immersed in a military school in South Carolina. 

On the contrary to race, being a male in society I feel has given me more advantages than being white. I hate to say it like that, but this is the society we live in. Most recently I remember being in a job interview in Memphis, Tennessee and there was 12 guys and 1 girl interviewing. Before interviews the company took us to a country club for a happy hour and encouraged us to, “grab a beer”. But, someone quickly commented, “Or a glass wine Andrea!” I think this was unfair to imply that just because she was a woman she couldn’t have a beer with the men and therefore kind of left her out. In instances like these, being a man is definitely easier. I always get the feeling when applying for corporate sales positions that being a man gives me a better advantage. I by no means think this is right, but in a modern world as competitive as ours, I’ll take any advantage I can get.

Even before I had experienced all of this gender disparity, I really got to put my view on race to test. When I was 18 years old I packed up my things and moved to Phoenix, Arizona, and lived there for 2 years of my life. Arizona is a very interesting place because of its close proximity to the Mexican border. And you get a predominantly Spanish, or Latin American bias wherever you go. Being in Phoenix as a white person, you are most definitely a minority. There are certain restaurants that my Mexican friends would tell me about that I would go to and wouldn’t be able to eat at. This isn’t because I was white, but simply because I didn’t even know enough Spanish to know how to ask for a menu. Instances like these you really wish you were more cultured. I always thought I was so diverse and accepting until I had actually had to make all new friends in a place where there wasn’t a lot of white people. I had never thought about it this way until one day I looked around and noticed that one I was the only person from Ohio in the room, and two I was the only white person in the room. This is when I finally realized what it was like to not judge other people by their color, but their personality, and how friendly they were. Below is a picture of me in my time in Phoenix. 

So how did all this construct me as a man? Did all of these experiences help the person I am today? Absolutely, I would be the man I am today, without being able to travel across the country and meet the different people I have met. It just like learning different language, you can study it all you want in the class room. But unless you actually take the time to go out there and speak it in another county, you won’t learn anything. I had sat there my whole life in Mayfield, Ohio and had parents and teachers tell me that everyone was equal when in reality id see blacker people getting negative media coverage than whites. It wasn’t till I actually went out and experienced the world and got to stand in other peoples shoes, and make lifelong friends, that I realized it doesn’t matter their color, or demeanor. All that matter is who they are, how they respect you, and how they respect others. Getting to meet all kinds of different people and keep those lifelong friendships was an amazing experience. When I returned to Ohio and my friends from Arizona would visit, it would be like night and day to the way my Ohio friends would act. They all got along because they were all good people, but it was very interesting to see how when you really but yourself out there, the amazing people you can meet. 

Also, throughout my life I have gotten the opportunity to experience the world, and travel a lot. This was very eye opening, because you almost lose that advantage as white male simply because America is not always viewed in a positive light. While I was in South America I was almost viewed as a king and they loved knowing how Americans reacted to issues in relation to them. But when I traveled to Europe, it was a very different reaction. Most Europeans view Americans as very arrogant and wasteful. So in this case, being the white male was a disadvantage, and I ran into problems everywhere I went, especially within Italy. These experiences show that when you really put yourself out there you can get a very unique view on society and the world. Not all places race is perceived like it is here in the USA, and not all places minorities are treated the same way as they are here. I believe we all truly need to count our blessing and just try to appreciate everyone for who they are. Below I have included a picture of me in Italy, and I think this among other experiences has really opened my eyes to how people are, and should be treated in the world.

 

I am glad I got to experience all of the parts of life a 22 year old never got to experience. I am very fortunate to be blessed with an open mind, and attitude that loves talking to everyone. I will only hope that in future generation’s people can be more focused on the individual themselves, more than their looks, or the color of their skin. One thing in college that I will really take away is the discussion on Muslim women and why they wear the headdresses. They truly have it figured out on how to eliminate racism and prejudices. I know people argue they are creating them, but the true point of the head dress is so people can judge them for who they really are, and not their personal looks. That is how my identity has been shaped and developed over the years, and I am more than happy to the person I have become because of it.