A Tale of Two Mommies

Mutt: (noun) 1. A dog with parents of different breeds (http://www.merriam-webster.com)          

            There is a picture of a sunny day with man standing in the deserts of Turkey. He is tall, in his late twenties, tan, handsome, and has big ears. This is the only picture I have of my father; it sits on my dresser in my bedroom. There are days that I look at that picture and wonder what kind of man he is, and what kind of woman I would have become if he had helped raised me. When I was about 5 years old I remember asking my mother why I don’t have a daddy like all of the other kids. Even though I was pretty lucky for having two mommies I still got jealous of the kids who had someone to call Dad. Being in the nineties, the military was not accepting of homosexuals and our lives were lived inside the home and our secret was not to be told. I remember my mom trying to explain to me when I was young that I can’t go around and talk about my mommies and needed to respect her privacy. I didn’t understand, I was told never to lie but yet my entire life was a lie. Lies upon lies would build up so that I got used to living in this fictional world.  Being raised by lesbian mothers has defined me in so many ways that I am still finding new characteristics about myself that come from that specific root of my family tree.

“It isn’t what they say about you, it’s what they whisper.” - Errol Flynn

             Even though we lived in the walls of our home, the news of a gay couple with a child moved into town seemed to spread like wildfire everywhere I went. I remember going to school and not being invited to another girl’s birthday party, later come to find out it was because my parents were gay. I hardly even knew this girl, but in elementary school most children invited the whole class. I had neighbor parents tell me that I can go to church with them to help save me from the sins that I had no choice to live in. I remember playing tether ball with another girl and when I got hit in the face and ended up with a bloody nose she taunted me by saying in front of everyone “Why don’t you go get your guaaardian angel to come save yooooou!” My “other” mommy was referred publically as my Legal Guardian, which she was, but of course it was turned into a childish joke that would send me home in tears. At a young age I was an outcast for something that I could not control.

--My original rough draft got deleted so this is what I came up with, I apologize for such a short one. It was a VERY unfortunate loss.... -__-