Final Draft Proud to be from a Military Family

       

 Proud to be From A Military Family

Madison Borowy

      Everyone goes though different experiences in their life, it’s those experiences that shape us into the people we are today.  If you really think about it no one can live the same moment as someone else and that’s what makes us all so different. I come from a military family; my father has been apart of the United States Air Forces ever since he was 18. Men and woman are taught to act and respond a certain way when being apart of the military, so of course that’s how I was raised as well. Some people may be thinking, “being raised in a military family can't be that different or difficult”, but those people are so very wrong. Growing up in a military family meant being raised in a strict military style, it meant moving every two years, and it meant spending a year with out my father while he was deployed.  It was incredibly difficult but honestly I wouldn’t trade my experience for the world. Everything that I went through while growing up as made me the person I am today and I am very proud of that. 

    I want to first discuss what it was like to grow up with a military man as my father. Everyone assumes that having a strict parent wouldn’t be any fun at all and would be the worst thing in the world. I would have to disagree completely. Yes my father was strict, but I’m glad. He taught me to be proud of where I came from, he taught me to know wrong from right, he taught be how to be respectable member of society. The most important concept My father taught is that you always respect your elders no matter who it is, where your at, or what your doing. I was raised to always address adults as sir and ma'am. Still to this day I will respond to any adult with “yes sir” or “yes ma'am”.  It’s a very simple way to show respect, and not enough kids in my generation do that. Respect is earned by giving it and some people just don't understand that concept. 

       I was also taught to work for everything I had. Once I turned 16 it was expected of me to get a job, nothing too hard or time consuming, but something that taught me the value of hard work. I believe that the earlier you get a job the better your work ethic will be in the future. The fact that I have had a job since I was 16 has made me a harder worker because I understand the responsibility that comes with accepting a job, someone is depending on me to get that particular job done and done right. My father is a very hard working man, whether it be at his job in the Air Force or just around the house. He taught me that there is no job that is important no matter what the task may be. 

      Another huge part of having a father in the military meant never ever talking back. It amazes me how often I hear kids talk back to their parents. In the military you are taught to never talk back to your commanding officer and that’s how it was in my house as well. I wouldn’t dare speak back, even today when I disagree with my father I need to be very careful how I word what I say.  My parents do so much for me and I would never want to disrespect them by talking back or giving them an attitude. I plan to raise my children in the same manor that my parents raised me. The way they brought me up has made me a hard working, independent, respectful woman and for that I am very proud to be raised in a military family.          

       While researching about studies done on children in the military there was a recurring study that was based on the effects of children that have parents deployed at a young age. For those of you who many not be familiar with military terms, being deployed is when an active member of the military is sent over seas for an extended period of time to fight in the current war.  It’s a very scary thing for a child to experience at such a young age. It happened to me while I was only seven. While reading these studies I was becoming very upset with the results, one study stated “Evidence suggests that kids in military families, especially those who have experienced longer periods of time away from a deployed parent, have significantly higher rates of problems, especially emotional and behavioral difficulties, than non-military kids.” (Meadows) basically because I don’t have my father around for a few years I’m doomed to be a troubled kid. That is just not true at all and it’s very infuriating, my mother was there for me to help make sure I was staying focused on what was important while my father was away, I still talked to him a few times a week. It was not like my father abandoned me, he was off making a difference and helping others. At the time I didn’t quite understand why my dad had to be there or why he was gone for so long but now that I am older I respect him so much more for making that huge sacrifice. I was lucky and my father only had to spend a year over seas and that was it, some children’s fathers do repeated deployments and maybe those are the children that are more likely to experience emotional and behavioral difficulties. Having to see your parent leave repeatedly would take a toll on anyone.  It is something I had to accept as a child with a father in the military, at any given moment they could call him up and tell him they need him to go back over seas, it was extremely scary. 

[ This photo clearly demonstrates how
 hard deployment is on a family]

        A Study published in Innovations in clinical neuroscience journal titled psychiatric effects of military deployment on children and families states “the effect of parental deployment in previous wars has shown children having an increase in behavioral problems. More recent findings with deployed service members with children have shown problems with sleeping, higher stress levels and anxiety later in life” (James) I can’t say I completely disagree with this statement. After reading the research I did start to think about my life and wonder if I get so stressed out now because I had a father that was deployed in the military. It's weird to think that growing up in a military family could be causing a negative effect on me and I had no idea. Today I do find myself getting stressed over little things that really don’t matter but I think that is normal for a college kid, there is stress all around us, It's impossible to say that my stress is only caused by an experience from my past.

      Having a parent sent over seas for a year isn’t easy in the least bit. Although there was one good thing that did come from my father’s deployment, that was the fact that I never took my fathers time for granted ever again. Spending a year without one of your parents is a huge eye opener no matter how old you are. You realize that time is something that should never be wasted. I think because I had to experience that at such a early age I am way more aware now that things should never be taken for granted. You never know what could happen next and we need to appreciate everyone in our lives while we can. A lot of kids don’t get that reality check until later on in life. I now appreciate the time I have with people I care about and for that I am very proud to be apart of a military family.    

This photo is of my father and his friends
taking pride in all their accomplishments. 

     You may be thinking that having my dad deployed was probably the hardest part about growing up in a military family but once again you are very wrong. The hardest part for any child in a military family is the constant moving. On average a family in the military will move every two to three years, like clockwork.  You would think that eventually it would become easy to just pick up and move again for the 4^th time but it just doesn’t. Although moving so often was hard it definitely shaped me as a person and gave me key characteristics that I think make me who I am today. For instance I believe that I am a very out going individual now because of it.

        Moving every two years meant making new friends every two years, and unless you actually go through that process you will never fully understand how difficult that is to do. Moving to a new place where everyone already knows each other and all you are known as is “The new kid” it's extremely intimating, but you can't let that stop you from putting yourself out there. I knew that I had two options, either make friends or don’t have any. So I did what any kid would do, I went up to the nice looking kids at lunch and asked if I could sit with them. This was definitely a lot easier to do when I was still in elementary school; every one was so nice back then.  I learned quickly that I just needed to be nice, friendly, and outgoing. Those three characteristics were the key to making friends each and every time I moved. Today I have no problem going up to new people and introducing myself, I actually love it now. I have so much confidence when it comes to talking to new people and I have the military to thank for that.

        Yes, I did become more out going from moving so often but I cant help but think that other aspects of my life were affected by it in a negative way. For example a lot of studies frequently brought up the education process and if that was being affected due to the frequent moves. It’s a great question because I’m sure a lot of people assume that my education was suffering from moving so often but I know it hasn’t for a second. I am currently a junior in college with a 3.6 GPA looking into applying for graduate schools in the fall, I know I can’t speak for everyone but being in a military family does not seem to affect a child’s schooling. The military offers a lot of great options for families with children to assure they get the education they need, Serving Military Families in the 21^st Century is a textbook written by Karen Rose Blaisure this textbook states “If the date for the permanent change of duty station occurs after the beginning of the school year, families may choose to remain in their current location to allow children to complete the academic year at the same school. Finally if the quality of education is better at the current location, families may remain in order not to negatively affect the education of their children.” The military is very understanding when it comes to schooling, they want us to get as good of an education as possible. Who knows maybe I actually obtained a better education from being in a military family.      

A family picture located in Guam which was
only one of seven moves I had made

      Moving so frequently definitely affected me but I think I have proven that it affected me for the best, I am very outgoing, intelligent, and successful and I do believe that has to do with being raised in a military family. My life would be so different if I wasn’t born and raised the way I was. It was such a unique experience that allowed me to travel all over the United States, meet hundreds of people I would have never met. Research says that I should be struggling with relationships, school, and a lot of other aspects in my life but honestly I couldn’t be happier with how things are going. I have friends that will last a lifetime, the confidence to be outgoing, success in school, and an amazing work ethic and for that I am extremely proud to be raised in a military family.

Work Cited 

Blaisure, karen. Serving Military Families in the 21st Century. New     York: Routledge, 2012. Print. 

James, Trenton, and Jacqueline Countryman. "Psychiatric Effects of       Military Deployment on Children and Families: The Use of Play       Therapy for Assessment and Treatment." Innovations in Clinical       Neuroscience. Matrix Medical Communications, n.d. Web. 26 Apr.       2015.

Meadows, Sarah O. "Military Families: What We Know and What We Don't     Know." Military Families: What We Know and What We Don't Know.       N.p., n.d. Web. 26 Apr. 2015.